a girl guide for blokes

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Christmas present ideas

Christmas time is coming, which means we need to dust off the credit card and find something thoughtful. The first thought on the matter is by far the most important:

1. DO NOT BUY HER A GIFT VOUCHER.

Have I made that clear? A gift voucher is probably actually worse than forgetting to buy a present altogether. Do not buy a gift voucher. Buying a gift voucher says that you don't care enough to think of a real present to buy, and hey, it leaves her in absolutely no doubt exactly how much you spent on her does it?

2. Quantity AND Quality

This goes especially for Christmas, sometimes the best part of all the presents is just opening them so give them to her in masses. Wrap as many things as you can individually so she has a pile of presents under the tree.

3. Books

You wouldn't buy a book for a dumb chick would you? So by getting her a book at the very least you get credit for showing you think she's intelligent. If you can find a book she'll actually like to read you're doing even better. Try to suss out what sort of books she already has and go from there.

4. Chocolates

These are not the whole gift, but should always form part of it. Accessorise boys.

5. Photos

Great sentimental value, find a nice shot and get it framed with a specific idea of where she should put it. So when she opens it you can say something like 'you can keep this one at work so everyone can see how much I love you.' Very cheesy I know, but sometimes we've gotta lay it on thick.

If you don't have a good photo consider doing some funny poses in front of a camera until you get something you like. Remember you can always demand she keeps it in her bottom drawer where nobody else sees it (which will mean she shows it to everybody, but while doing so tells them how goofy you are and how much she likes you).

So none of it's rocket science but it's a good place to start and you'll notice that none of this stuff really breaks the bank leaving you plenty of room for other ideas. Hopefully it will help a little!

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Bastard! Prick! Insensitive buffoon!

But really, us blokes are just simple beings who don't always understand the complex trappings of the fairer sex. This site is one man's effort to aid his fellow blokes in the quest to keep the special women in our life happy.

This way, we can get away with spending the afternoon at the pub.